Self Care is Not Selfish

Ever heard the term “you can’t pour from an empty cup”? This is a commonly used phrase that we hear and just laugh to ourselves thinking it’s an old saying and don’t put much stock in it.

The reality is that too many of us push ourselves beyond demands that are reasonable for our minds and bodies to process and function efficiently then wonder why we are anxious? Get sick and don’t recover right away? Feel constantly fatigued even though we are sleeping adequately?

I often have people present to me for assessment thinking they must have an attentional disorder because they can’t remember information and they are neglecting things that need to be done- only to dig deeper and find that not only are they managing too many work demands, they are attending to family demands and allowing no time for self-care.

I tell them to think about it this way- and I encourage you to do the same. Using the same cup analogy, what happens if a cup is completely full and you pour water on top of it? Yes, it spills over the side and does not go into the cup. Our minds are the same. When we push it to capacity we leave no room for additional demands, details, tasks, conversations, the list goes on and on. These things come to attention and bounce right on out because there is nowhere for them to go.

One of the key ways we can combat this is- yes you guessed it- good self-care. Self-care looks different for everyone- for some of us it is exercise, some of us it is sitting with a good book, some of us it is sitting and praying, for some of us it is time spent with a good friend.

Therapy is a prime way you figure out with your trusted therapist what self-care looks like for you. And realize that to engage in self-care is the exact opposite of selfish- it allows us to be our healthiest version of ourselves- and only then can we truly give of ourselves to others.